


and you can call it love

by brahe



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Bittersweet?, F/M, First Kiss, Height difference, Maybe - Freeform, but apparently im too emotional for that rn, i wanted this to be fluff, idk - Freeform, minor spoilers for rogue one, nothing super crazy, so theres this instead, sort of a fix-it fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 00:39:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8869066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brahe/pseuds/brahe
Summary: He's surprised it took him this long to notice, but he's almost glad, because it's distracting. He can't stop thinking about how much he wants to hold her, and it's going to drive him crazy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> yall im so angry. i figured that would happen and it's a fitting ending but im so freaking angry. this was supposed to be just literal straight height difference fluff, bc im 110% here for that, but then it turned into a sort of bittersweet retelling of parts of the movie with height as a underlying motivator? i dont even know, but i kind of like it. i'll be writing some actual height difference fluff bc i need it, but for now there's this. expect a lot for this ship because im super super down with it and im suffering. fix-its for days.
> 
> title from wilder mind by mumford and sons

It is, surprisingly, not one of the first things he notices about her. He watches her from across the table, takes in her anger and her distrust, sees the rips and stains in her clothes. She's a fireball, that's easy to tell, a star on the edge of explosion. He decides she's too volatile to trust and continues on with his life.

That is, until she's on his ship and they're on the way to Jedha.

And even then, he doesn't notice, because she's angry, and he's angry, and neither of them want to deal with this.

"Trust goes both ways," she says, and he sees her hand tightening on the handle of the blaster. Well, sure, but he's not sure who's she's talking to, because he knows there's no trust to reciprocate from either party.

 

It's in the tense streets of the capital city on Jedha when he finally notices. He's, somehow, gone from wanting to leave her on a desert planet somewhere to hoping that she makes it out of this alive. So he's got a hand on her back, and he pulls her against him when she doesn't listen.

"Jyn, let's go," he says, not harsh, but demanding, and she stumbles into his chest when he pulls her along.

For a moment, he forgets everything as he looks down at her, the top of her head not even reaching his chin. The realization hits him, then, and he shakes head.

_She's absolutely tiny._

He's got half a foot on her, at least. He doesn't know how he didn't notice before, but the way she's pressed against him finally puts it into perspective. There's a sudden wave of a fierce need to protect that courses through him, and he tightens his fist in the fabric of her jacket.

She finally steps away from him, then, and he misses the warmth of her body fitted along his. He looks down to meet her gaze, and it's questioning, none of the anger that's usually there clouding her features. Standing this close, she's so much smaller than him, not even to his shoulders, and he wants to reach out and tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. Without the fierce look in her eyes, he forgets that's she's a fighter, that's she's a hardened soldier fighting her own fight. He wants to pull her back to him, wrap her against his chest and not let go. That's when he realizes his hand is still holding a fistful of her jacket, and the sounds of the city come rushing back in to remind him of where they are. He shakes his head, mad with himself, and lets her go, turning around with an order for her to follow. When she can't see his face, he frowns, reprimanding himself for losing so much focus on a mission. He reminds himself that that's what she is, his mission, and tries to ignore the way he already misses her head against his chest and her hair under his chin.

 

And then, it isn't until they're on the stolen Imperial cargo ship headed to steal the plans that he has the time to think of it again. They're both in the bay with the others who volunteered, and she's standing in front of him, offering a speech to the crew, offering hope and determination. He's looking down at her, watching from behind the way she moves, the wave of her hands, the subtle nodding that dislodges her hair from behind her ears, and it's back, the urge to tuck her into him, to rest his chin on her head and wrap her in his arms. She's so small, the clear shortest in the room, but she's standing bigger than all of them, and he realizes that maybe he loves her. It's been a month, but he's made a rule to never lie to himself, and he can't deny that the warm feeling in his chest is something more than hope. And when she turns to him, smiling a real, genuine smile, he knows he's done for.

A part of him is mad at himself, because he doesn't need this, didn't want to even like her in the first place, but he can't stay angry because who else was he ever going to love besides a firecracker with too much determination?

"You're in the Rebellion now," he tells her when they're back up out of the cargo hold. They're in the back of the plane, at the opposite end from the cockpit where Bodhi's taken the helm.

"I think I always was," she says, and Cassian figures she's right. They watch each other for a moment, before Jyn's pushing off the wall to walk back up front. She passes him, brushing their shoulders, and he reaches out.

"Jyn," he says, hand around her arm, and she turns back to him. He tugs her, gently, towards him, and she lets herself fall into him. His arms find themselves around her waist, his nose pressed into her hair, and he knows there's no where else he's ever going to want to be than with her. She feels so fragile when he's got her completely in his arms, feels like he could accidentally snap her in two.

Her own arms are trapped between them, her hands fisted in the lapels of his jacket. Her forehead's against his chest, pressed against his heartbeat. He decides, then, that he never wants to be without this, without her solid and warm beside him.

"Jyn," he says, half muffled in her hair. She hums in response. He brings his hands up her arms, resting them against her neck, and pulls her away just enough so he can meet her eyes. His thumb's rubbing softly against her jaw and his fingers are curled into her hair.

"Yeah," she says, after she's looked at him for a while. "I know."

And then she's tugging him down by his jacket, and their first kiss is in the back of an Imperial ship, covered in dirt and dust, but he's got her and that's enough. There's a second and a third kiss after that, and then he stops counting. She's moved her hands to his hair, pulling him down to her, and he's got his arms around her waist, half picking her up. He's nearly bent over, and she's on the tips of her toes, and he loves it. Maybe they make it out of this and maybe they don't, but for once, he lets himself forget about the mission, because Jyn's pressed as close as she can get, sighing against his lips, and he decides he's allowed to be selfish for once in his life.

He picks her up, arm wrapped around her back and holding her to him as tightly as he can, and she hooks her legs around his waist. He smiles into their next kiss, opens his eyes when she smiles back. For once, she looks genuinely happy, and any doubt he had is gone. She's it for him, he knows for certain, and he's completely fine with it.

"Hope, right?" she says, and he breathes a laugh.

"And maybe love," he agrees, and she's pulling his mouth back to hers, and he decides it's all been worth it, for this tiny little fireball in his arms. 


End file.
